Thursday, August 28, 2014

Je wajua jinsi makundi ya CHAMPIONS LEAGUE yalivopangwa? Bofya hapa ucheki

Hatimaye ligi ya mabingwa wa Ulaya
imeanza kwa kupangwa kwa makundi
ya michuano hiyo ambapo tukio la
upangwaji wa makundi haya
umefanyika kwenye jiji la Monaco,
Ufaransa na mpango wote ndio
umekua hivi.

Kundi A
Atletico Madrid
Juventus
Olympiakos
Malmo

Kundi B
Real Madrid
Basel
LIVERPOOL
Ludogorets

Kundi C
Benfica
Zenit St Petersburg
Bayer Leverkusen
Monaco

Kundi D
ARSENAL
Borussia Dortmund
Galatasaray
Anderlecht

Kundi E
Bayern Munich
MANCHESTER CITY
CSKA Moscow
Roma

Kundi F
Barcelona
Paris St-Germain
Ajax
Apoel Nicosia

Kundi G
CHELSEA
Schalke
Sporting Lisbon
Maribor

Kundi H
Porto
Shakhtar Donetsk
Athletic Bilbao
Bate Borisov

Ungana nami kwa kubofya
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Friday, August 15, 2014

More about EBOLA

There is currently an Ebola outbreak putting all of us at risk. Pls help educate all around u by sending this msg to all your contacts..

What is EBOLA?

It's a virus that attacks a person blood system:

Ebola is what scientists call a haemorraghic fever - it operates by making its victims bleed from almost
anywhere on their body.
Usually victims bleed to
death.

Ebola is highly contagious;
Being transmitted via
contact with body fluids
such as blood, sweat, saliva,
semen or other body discharges.

Ebola is however NOT AN AIRBORNE VIRUS!

EXTREMELY deadly:
About 90% of people that
catch Ebola will die from it.
It's one of the deadliest
diseases in the world,
killing in just a few weeks.

Untreatable(no cure):
Ebola has no known treatment or cure.
Victims are usually treated for symptoms with the faint hope that they
recover.

How Do I Know Someone has Ebola?

•Fever
•Headache
•Diarrhoea
•Vomiting
•Weakness
•Joint & Muscle pains
•Stomach Pain
•Lack of Appetite

Protect Yourself:
•Wash Your Hands
with Soap
Do this a lot. You can
also use a good hand
sanitizer. Avoid
unnecessary physical contact with people.

■Restrict yourself to food you prepared yourself.

■Disinfect Your Surroundings
The virus cannot
survive disinfectants,heat, direct sunlight,detergents and soaps.

Clean up!:
•Fumigate If you have Pests.
•Rodents can be carriers of Ebola.
•Fumigate your environment & dispose off the carcasses properly!
•Dead bodies CAN still
transmit Ebola.
•Don't touch them without
protective gear or better yet avoid them altogether.

Protect Yourself:
•Use protective gear if you
must care or go near
someone you suspect has
Ebola.

Report:
•Report any suspicious
symptoms in yourself or
anyone else IMMEDIATELY.

Do not delay!

Educate Everyone:
•Tell your neighbours,
colleagues and domestic
staff (anyone really). Basically you're safer when
everyone is educated.

Cheka kidogoo huku unasindikiza jion yako

Mchaga aliona tangazo limeandikwa
Mpare Hospital, tunatibu kila ugonjwa
kwa laki 1, tukishindwa tunakupa ww
laki 2, mchaga akaitamani ile laki 2,
akaenda, akamwambia Dk Mpare: i hv
lost ma sense of taste, Dk Mpare
akamwambia nesi, Mpe Mchaga dawa
ya chupa namba 22, nesi akamnywesha
Mchaga, Mchaga akashauti STOOOP ni
mkojo! Dk Mpare akwamwambia
Mchaga, congrats u hv recovered ur
sense of taste.
Mchaga akaumia sn kapoteza laki 1
yake, akajipanga upya akaenda tena
hospital, akamwambia Dk Mpare: I hv
lost ma memory, I dont even
remember my name. Dk Mpare
akamwambia nesi, mpe Mchaga dawa
ya chupa namba 22, Mchaga akashauti
NOOOO dawa ya chupa namba 22 ni
mkojo kwa matibabu ya sense of taste!
Dk Mpare akamwambia Mchaga:
congrats u hv recovered ur memory.

****####****###**
demu: mambo vp mpenzi
Jonii: poa tuu nambie malikia angu
Demu: just miss u baby
Jonii: thanx
Dem: afu baby ninashida ya pesa
kidogo kwa ajili ya kusuka
Jonii: km shilling ngapi mpenzi
demu: elfu hamsini tuuu baby
Joniii: ok ngoja nikutumie now
Dem: oh nawait baby love uuuuu
Baaada ya mda kidogo dem anapokea
sms ya m pesa anatabasamu inakua hivi
Demu:: jaman baby mbona
umenitumia 500 badala ya 50000
Jonii: itakua sifuri nyingne zimefutika
Demu:: nyooo we sema huna ela
mwanaume suruwali wewe
Jonii: ehhhhh ulitaka niwe mwanaume
sketi!

Cheki dictionary ya maajabu

Aww
Usijidanganye ati Kiswahili si Lugha timilifu,
Kwa taarifa yako kimekamilika kila idara, hebu ona maneno haya, je, ulikuwa unayafahamu tangu awali?

Tazama.......

KIINGEREZA------KISWAHILI
Device-------------Kitumi
Photocopier------Kinukuzi...
Duplicating Machine --Kirudufu
Resistor-----------kikinzani
Power Saw-------Msumeno oto
Sensor-----------Kisimbuzi
Lap Top---------Kipakatalishi
ICU--------------Kisadaruki
Microwave-----Tanuri ya miyale
Memory Card-----------Kadi sakima
SIM card----------Kadiwia/mkamimo
Scratch card------------Kadi hela
Business card-----Kadikazi
Identity card----Kitambulisho
ATM---------- -Kiotomotela
Nutrients ----- -Virutubisho
Starch---------- ---------Nisha
Stigma--------- ----------Ntwe
Nectar---------------Mbochi
Humus---------------Mboji
Germ cell----------Celizazi
Femur---------------Fupaja
Green house-------Kivungulio
Esophagus--------------Umio
Sunflower---------------Alizeti
Weevil-------------Fukusi/dumuzi
Distillation--------Ukenekaji
Evaporation-------Mvukizo
Dissolve ----------Uyeyushaji
Stagnant----------------Tuame
Synthesis---------Uoanishaji
Monitor-----------Muwazi
Processor---------Kichakato
Computer Virus-----Mtaliga
Floppy Disk-------------Diski tepetevu
Mouse-----------Kipanya/kisakura
Slot----------------Upenyu
Flash Disk--------------Diski mweko
Scanner-----------------Mdaki
Keyboard-------Kicharazio
Force of Gravity-------Kani ya mvutano
Certificate-----Astashahada
Diploma--------Stashahada
Degree------------Shahada
Masters----------------Uzamili
Phd----------------Uzamivu
Sausage---------------Soseji
Kebab-------------Mshakiki
Crisps--------------Kaukau
Chips-------------------Vibanzi
Juice---------------Sharubati
Password--------------Nywila
Zebra Crossing-------Kivuko milia

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Cheka ila usiharibu mbavu

Mhindi alijibu mtihani wa Kiswahili kama ivi:

(1) Mfa maji ?....ipatie life jacket, lambda taokoka.

(2) Mwenda pole?....... Tachelewa fika.

(3) Usipoziba ufa ?........... Mizi tachungulia  dani.

(4) Usilolijua ?........ Uliza google.

(5) Mbio za utelezini ?..itaChafua guo yako.

(6) Ukipenda boga ?...Ngoja mezi ya ramzani tapata rahisi.

(7) Ukiona vinaelea ?.iko nyepesi sana hiyo.

(8) Maji yakimwagika ?...... Mambie dada tapiga deki.

(9) Chelewa chelewa ?... Takosa mapesa veve.

(10) Kila ndege huruka ?... Airport

(11) Bandu bandu ?...du gu Yale pateli na sa sa ipo Bombey.

(12) Mtaka cha Mvunguni ?..sharti inue tanda

(13) Simba mwenda kimya?....Kama sio gonjwa basi haina njaa.

(14) Aisifuye mvua ?.......... Najua iko Mkulima hiyo

(15) Barabara ndefu ?........ Ongeza mwendo au tachelewa fika.

(16) Mlanawe hafi nawe ila?.... Takimbia

(17) Asie sikia la mkuu ? ........ Tapeleka jela

(18) Hasira za mkizi ? ..............Tatafuna veve

(19) Mchamba wima ?........ Karibu ya Hurumzi

(20) Akumurikae mchana ?....Kipofu hiyo

(21) Mficha maradhi ?........ Taenda Loliondo

(22) Mkataa wingi ? ..........Taenda Chadema

(23) Bendera ?................ Kama sio ya ODM, ya TNA

(24) Baniani mbaya ?....... Peleka Bombay Lakini sio kweli, naonea tu

(25) Akili nyingi ?.......... Tapasi mtihani yotee

(26) Penye kuku wengi ? ........ Chinja bili tatu ivi, hapana mtu najua.

Dunia ina mambo...kampuni moja jaman yatengeneza midoli inayofanana na mwanamke hadi sehemu nyeti...chek hapa picha

Dunia inamambo Kampuni moja ya nchini Japan imedai kufanikiwa
kutengeneza midoli ya ngono ‘sex dolls’ yenye
muonekano halisi wa mwanamke ambayo huwa na
ngozi ya mwili kama ya binadamu na macho kama
ya ukweli.
Mdoli wa ngono
Orient Industry imesema ni ngumu kuitofautisha
midoli hiyo na msichana halisi pale unapoitazama
kwa mara ya kwanza.
Midoli hiyo imepewa jina la ‘Dutch Wives’, na
matangazo ya midoli hiyo yanasema kuwa iwapo
mwanaume akifanya nayo mapenzi hawezi
kumtamani mwanamke halisi tena. Bei ya midoli
hiyo ni £1,000 ( zaidi ya shilingi milioni 2.7) kwa
kila mmoja.
Midoli hiyo imetengenezwa kwa kuweka viungo
ambavyo vinamfanya mtumiaji kuigeuza katika
position atakayo.

Je wajua inbox za fesibuku zipo vipi? Bofya hapa kuchek

HIZI NDIO INBOX YA WANAUME
WENGI WA FACEBOOK ILIVYO
Me: mambo dada
Dada: mm mzma cjui ww
Me: mm poa tu, nmependa prfl pic
yako
Dada: hasant
Me: ndo ww nn, maana daah
umejaaliwa
Dada: ndo mie huyo, kwan vp??
Me: basi tu mungu kakupendelea
sana, unaish wap,?? mm nakaa
kijitonyama
Dada: nakaa magomeni mikumi,
Me: umeolewa
Dada: wala, naishi mwenyewe
Me: vp naruhusiwa kuja
kutembea??
Dada: akaah kwangu hawaj
wanaume!!
Me: heee kwann ss?? Au hutaki
wagen.
Dada: basi tu, nmeweka sheria
zangu.
Me: ok, unapiga mishe gani hapa
mjini?
Dada: nnabiashara zangu tu
nafanya.
Me: basi tafuta siku tuonane,
tuongee, tujuane, maana mm
nimekuelewa sana.
Dada: mmh ww kaka una mambo,
mm naogopa kukutana na watu
nisiowajua.
Me: sasa c ndo tunajuana hivi,
Dada: mhhh haya ntakupa namba
yangu kesho
Me: ok, ila tangu tunachat hapa
hali yangu si nzur mwenzio
Dada: unaumwa au??
Me: hamna hapa babu
kachachamaa sana, sijui anashida
gani
Dada: mmmh is umpeleke. Kwa
mwenzake
Me: mwenzake is ndo ww jamani
Dada: akaaaah
Me: umevaaje kwan hapo
mrembo??
Dada: kanga na chupi, maana ndo
nimetoka kuogopa,
Me: aaaiiish dada unaniumiza
jamani
Dada: pole jaman kwan unaumia
sanaaa???
UNAMAWAZO GANI JUU YA INBOX
KAMA HIZI? AU NDIO NGOZI NYEUSI
YAWAZA MAPENZI TU?
usisaha kushare watu waone
mautumbo yao wanavyochat inbox
na mademu wasiowajua

LIFE AMAZING MATHEMATICS

Very interesting & meaningful msg to share:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K LM N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is equal to:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then,

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K ;
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E ;
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%

L+O+V+E;
12+15+22+5 = 54%

L+U+C+K ;
12+21+3+11 = 47%

None of them makes 100%. Then what makes 100%?

Is it Money? NO!

M+O+N+E+Y= 13+15+14+5+25=72%

Leadership? NO!

L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P= 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+8+9+16=97%

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE"...

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E ;
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is therefore OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes
OUR Life 100% Successful.

Amazing mathematics

Beautiful msg to share:

UMuhimu wa tendo la ndoa kiafya

UMUHIMU WA TENDO LA NDOA KIAFYA

��Tendo la ndoa ni moja kati ya mazoezi ya mwili.
Wataalamu wanasema kwamba, unapofanya tendo hilo mara tatu kwa wiki husaidia kupunguza kiasi cha mafuta mwilini na pia endapo mtu atafanya tendo mara tatu kwa wiki kwa kipindi cha mwaka mzima ni sawa na kukimbia maili 75.

��Tendo la ndoa huongeza takriban vizalisha nguvu 150 kwa nusu saa ambayo ni sawa na kukimbia dakika 15 kiwanjani.Kuongeza mwendo wa damu

��Tendo la ndoa husaidia kuongeza kasi ya mtiririko wa damu kwenye ubongo na sehemu nyingine ya viungo vya mwili, hii huchangia kuongeza kasi ya mapigo ya moyo na kuboresha mfumo wa upumuaji.

��Msukumo thabiti wa damu mpya yenye oxygen na homoni zenye chembe chembe hai zinapopenya kwenye mishipa ya damu husaidia katika uunguzaji wa chakula, pia huondoa kiasi cha uchafu ambao ungesababisha mishipa na kushindwa kufanya kazi na kumfanya mwanadamu apate maumivu ya mwili.

��Hupunguza mafuta yenye kileo (Cholesterol)Tendo la ndoa huweka sawa uwiano wa mafuta yenye kileo (Cholesterol) nzuri na cholesterol mbaya na wakati huo hupunguza kwa ujumla kiasi cha mafuta yenye kileo mwilini.

��Kupunguza maumivuWakati wa kufanya mapenzi, homoni iitwayo oxytosin huzalishwa mwilini ambayo husababisha kuzalishwa kwa homoni iitwayo endorphin ambazo hupunguza maumivu kama vile kuvimba sehemu za viungo (arthritis) maumivu ya shingo (Whiplash) na maumivu ya kichwa.

��Ulinzi wa tezi ya kibofu (mwanaume)Majimaji yanayozalishwa katika tezi ya kibofu (prostate) yakizidi husababisha kuleta matatizo mwilini.

��Tendo la ndoa la mpangilio huondoa uzalishaji wa majimaji hayo yenye madhara.

��Mabadiliko ya ghafla ya tendo la ndoa huelekea kuleta matatizo yahusianayo na tezi ya prostate.

��Kupunguza mfadhaiko wa moyo

��Kujitosheleza na kupumzisha mwili baada ya tendo la ndoa ni muhimu kwa kutuliza akili na kurekebisha mzunguko wa damu mwilini.

��Watu wenye kushiriki tendo la ndoa wanatajwa kushinda mfadhaiko na kupata usingizi mnono hasa mara baada ya kumaliza kufanya mapenzi.

��Huongeza uzalishaji wa homoni za kiume(testosterone) na za kike (Oestogen).

��Faida nyingine inayopatika ni kuongeza uzalishaji wa homoni za kiume na za kike likiwemo suala zima la msukumo wa kufanya tendo hilo ambapo mhusika hutosheka zaidi ya yule ambaye hana mazoea ya kufanya mapenzi.

��Hata hivyo, baadhi ya madaktari wamegundua kwamba ongezeko la homoni za kiume/ kike huweza kuwakinga wanadamu na magonjwa ya moyo.

��Kuishi muda mrefu huku ukionekana kijanaWakati wa tendo la ndoa homoni iitwayo DHEA huzalishwa mwili mzima. Hii husaidia msisimko wa mapenzi kuongezeka.

��Kutokana na elimu hiyo DHEA ni kemikali yenye nguvu duniani ambayo husaidia kuweka sawa kinga ya mwili, huongeza ufahamu, kuimarisha mifupa, kutengeneza na kuimarisha afya na kuimarisha mishipa ya moyo (Cardiovascular).

��Hupunguza baridi na mafua

��Elimu inaonesha kuwa wanaofanya tendo la ndoa mara moja au mbili kwa wiki huongeza 30% ya uzalishaji wa chembe chembe hai za mwili ziitwazo Immunogloulin A ambazo huwa na kazi ya kuulinda mwili dhidi ya magonjwa.

�� Hizo ni faida chache tu za kufanya tendo la ndoa.

 Jambo kubwa la kuzingatia ni kuwa faida hizi hupatikana kwa ufanyaji wa mapenzi usiokuwa na hofu ya kufumaniwa au kuumbuliwa.

��Ndiyo maana nikasema ni maalum kwa wanandoa tu.��

ONYO:
Weka mbali na watoto au kwa asiyekuwa mwanandoa wako.
����

UEFA REJECTS real madrid's Xabi Alonso APPEAL

The midfielder will sit out the Super Cup clash with Sevilla after his suspension for celebrating during the Champions League final was upheld

The Uefa Appeals Body has rejected Real Madrid's appeal against Xabi Alonso's one-match suspension for a "breach of general rules of conduct".

The Spain international was sanctioned for running down the sidelines to celebrate Gareth Bale's goal in Los Blancos' 4-1 win over Atletico Madrid in the Champions League final in May.

Madrid challenged the ruling but the Uefa Appeals Body has upheld the original decision, meaning Alonso will sit out Tuesday's Super Cup clash with Europa League winners Sevilla.

The midfielder had been forced to sit out Madrid's meeting with Atleti in Lisbon after picking up a booking in his club's semi-final second-leg win over Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena.

Consequently, he had been consigned to the touchline for the final. However, Alonso set off down the touchline in celebration when Bale put Madrid 2-1 up in extra-time, resulting in a one-game ban for the 32-year-old.

Los Blancos were also fined £14,000 for picking up five bookings in the final, as well as the "improper conduct" of their supporters, who were found to have set off fireworks during the tournament decider.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Robin Williams's daughter Zelda deletes social media accounts after online abuse...read more

Robin
Williams'
daughter
has
abandoned her online social media
accounts in disgust following what
she called "cruel and unnecessary"
messages sent to her following her
father's death.
Zelda Williams, 25, wrote that she
was deleting her Twitter, Tumblr
and Instagram applications from her
mobile devices and stepping away
"for a good long time, maybe
forever."
The move came after at least two
users upset the grieving actress by
sending disturbing images and
verbal attacks. In one of her last
tweets on Tuesday night, Williams
asked fellow users to report her
alleged tormentors to Twitter
managers. "I'm shaking," she wrote.
Well-wishers and fans online rallied
to her defense, and the accounts of
both alleged bullies were
suspended by Wednesday.
On Instagram, Williams alluded to
users being hateful following her
father's suicide: "In this difficult
time, please try to be respectful of
the accounts of myself, my family
and my friends. Mining our
accounts for photos of dad, or
judging me on the number of them
is cruel and unnecessary."
A message seeking comment from
the Williams family's publicist
wasn't immediately returned.

For the photos click http://www.google.co.tz/imgres?imgurl=http://cdn02.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/zelda-dogs/zelda-williams-old-dogs-01.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.justjared.com/photo-gallery/2356252/zelda-williams-old-dogs-01/fullsize/&h=1222&w=959&tbnid=ERiJuOWqsCrMIM:&zoom=1&q=zelda+williams&docid=KcnaXPYfPGc47M&ei=fD7sU83jGfTY7AbGh4GwCQ&tbm=isch&ved=0CDIQMygQMBA
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JE WAJUA KUA RIHANNA ANATAKA M KUNUNUA CLUB KUBWA UINGEREZA? CHECK HAPA

Moja ya watu maarufu waliokumbwa
na joto kubwa la soka wakati wa
michuano ya kombe la dunia, alikuwa
ni mwanamuziki Rihanna.
Alikuwa akituma tweets karibia
kwenye michezo yote na mwishoni
alienda kuhudhuria fainali ya
michuano hiyo iliyopigwa kwenye
dimba la Maracana kati ya Ujerumani
dhidi ya Argentina.
Siku kadhaa nyuma gazeti la Daily
Mail la Uingereza liliripoti kwamba
staa huyo alikuwa anajiandaa
kununua hisa kwenye moja ya vilabu
vikubwa nchini Uingereza, lakini
hawakutaja jina la timu.
Lakini leo hii Jumanne, gazeti moja
huko Catalunya liitwalo El Mundo
Deportivo limethibitisha kwamba
Rihanna anataka kununua hisa nyingi
kwenye klabu ya Liverpool.
Rihanna amewahi kuripotiwa kwamba
anaishabikia klabu ya Liverpool,
jambo ambalo inawezekana El Mundo
Deportivo wamemhusisha na ununuzi
wa klabu hiyo ya Anfield.
Liverpool kwa sasa inamilikiwa na
mmiliki wa makampuni ya American
Fenway Sports Group John W. Henry.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

USHAHIDI WA CHRISS BROWN NA RIHANNA KURUDIANA...bofya hapa kuchek picha

Baada ya siku moja tu Chris Brown
ku-post poster la tour ya Rihanna na
Eminem kwenye instagram, Chris
Brown ameonekana kuendelea
kuongeza ukaribu zaidi na Rihanna.
Japokuwa picha haipo clear sana
lakini inaonyesha Chris Brown
alivyokwenda back stage ambapo
alikuwepo Rihanna kwenye moja ya
show za tour hiyo.
Picha haionyeshi vizuri lakini kuna
mashahidi wengi wanasema kwamba
Chris Brown alikuepo backstage
akiwa na Tyga na welienda kwa ajili
ya Rihanna.